Collar Meanings

Collars come in a very wide variety of styles, materials, and colors. Sometimes specific types of collars are closely associated as having a particular use or a particular meaning. But that does not mean that you can’t use those collars in different ways or that you can’t assign any meaning you want to any collar you want. A collar does not have to have any meaning at all. You could wear any collar you want just for fashion or because you like it. On the other end, a collar can take on a similar meaning as a wedding ring or even be regarded as more significant than a wedding ring. Any collar could be used for that purpose, it doesn’t have to be any special type of collar. What meaning you assign to what collar is entirely up to you. Just make sure you’re both on the same page about what the meaning is.

Fashion Collars

At the most casual end we have fashion collars, which are often made of cheaper materials such as nylon that are only intended for fashion. This would include choker style necklaces, which a lot of people like wearing, and does not mean they are into BDSM at all. Any collar can be worn simply for fashion, and collars of all types are sometimes worn this way. Some fashion collars have words on them. These are often more degrading words, making them great for degradation scenes. The words on them are not always degrading though. A DD/lg themed collar may say something like “Good Girl”, “Babygirl”, or “I Love Daddy” making it better suited for a DD/lg scene.

Play Collars

Play collars are worn during a BDSM scene. The dom would typically be the one to place the collar on the subs neck to indicate the scene has started and would be the one to remove it to indicate the scene has ended. This may be done in a ritualistic way, such as with the sub kneeling before the dom. It is not common for a sub to put on or take off her own collar. Everything that occurs between the start and end of a scene can be referred to as “play”. The sub wearing this collar not only helps define the start and end of the scene, but also serves to help both the dom and the sub to mentally prepare for the scene and get into character (or into the proper “headspace” as its often referred to).

Leather is the most common material for play collars. Chain collars are also common this purpose. Even a fashion collar could be used for this purpose, but the leather and chain collars often have D-rings or O-rings attached to making them far more practical for bondage or for attaching leashes. Play collars can also have words on them, which can make them better suited to certain types of scenes.

Ideally there will be a very high level of compatibility between the two partners so that both sides are very satisfied in the relationship, but this is not always the case. Often times, doms and subs will have multiple partners in order to meet their various needs. This arrangement is generally more permissible within BDSM relationships because people in those types of relationships tend to be more open-minded about relationships and sexuality in general.

Posture Collars

Posture collars are intended to restrict the movement of the neck and keep the chin pointed up. They are most commonly used for training submissives in improving their posture. They can also be used to restrict head movement during sex. This type of collar is going to be wider, more rigid, and far less comfortable for use as a play collar, but could also be used in that way. Posture collars may be chosen more within a Master/Slave dynamic because of a greater emphasis on service and high protocol.

Ownership Collars

An ownership collar is a symbol of the BDSM relationship. To wear this type of collar is to be “collared” by the dominant. Sometimes the collaring takes place it a ceremony, but it can also be a private event between the dom and the sub. Being collared symbolizes that the submissive is “owned” by the dominant, similar to how a wedding ring indicates that a person is married and is “taken”. This collar may also be referred to as a slave collar, formal collar, permanent collar, or eternity collar.

Any collar could take on this type of symbolism, but it is usually a specific play collar, or a locking collar of some sort that is not easily removed. Locking, solid metal collars are made specifically for this purpose. Some collars are also made to be able to lock with small padlocks. Removal of this collar, with certain exceptions, would symbolize the end of the relationship. One exception should of course be made for emergencies situations. The other time its commonly alright to remove this collar is to replace it with a more discreet “day collar” which holds the same symbolism, but is more socially acceptable to wear in public. Still, only the dominant should replace the formal collar with the day collar.

Day Collars

Day collars are ownership collars which are more discreet and able to be worn in public. This would most commonly still be worn around the neck, such as a special necklace, but it could also be worn elsewhere. Bracelets or anklets could just as easily be used as a day collar. It could even be a finger ring, a toe ring, and earing, a nose ring, or any other piece of jewelry. Markings are sometimes used in place of or in additional to day collars. That could be a tattoo of some sort, or the sub may even have her skin branded. Whether a piece of jewelry or a marking, it is up to the couple to decide the symbolism behind it.

Training Collars

A training collar is a step below an ownership collar, but a step above a collar of consideration. This type of collar symbolizes that the relationship is serious, but that the submissive is not yet owned. The relationship is in a learning stage where the submissive is being taught (or “trained”) on how her to serve her dominant.

Collars of Consideration

Collars of consideration, if used, would usually be worn in the beginning of a new relationship. This type of collar symbolizes that you are under consideration by the dominant to become their submissive or slave. Many couples may choose to skip over the collar of consideration and start out with a training collar instead. Being in a consideration phase, but also wearing a collar, is definitely not for everyone. A lot people prefer to either be in a relationship or not be in one, and to draw a much clearer line between the two. One major criticism of consideration collars is that the sub is wearing a collar, which indicates she is committed in some sense and is off the dating market, but at the same time the dom has not made any commitment or taken any responsibility for the sub. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with this arrangement if you both are agreeable, but its just not ideal for a lot of people is all and is often skipped over.

Collars of Protection

Just as it would be inappropriate to pick up on a married woman who is wearing a wedding ring, it is also inappropriate in this lifestyle to pick up on a submissive who is already collared by another dominant. Sometimes though, a submissive may not be owned by a dom, but still may not want to be approached by other dominants. In this case she may wear a collar of protection, which signals to other dominants that she is under the protection of another dominant and wishes to be left alone.  A dominant may provide this protection to a submissive even if the submissive is not being trained and may not even be under consideration. A collar with the letter “P” on in is the dead giveaway of this type of collar. It may also have the initials of the protecting dominant on it.

Dog Collars

Many collars worn in BDSM are made for humans, but you may also choose to wear a collar that was made instead for a dog. It may just be that you happen to like a particular dog collar. Opening up your collar selection to include dog collars makes for an even wider variety of styles for you to choose from. For example, I once was shopping for a green leather collar to be worn with green lingerie during the Christmas season, and the only one available happened to be a dog collar, which was fine. But you may also be into pet play and feel that a pet collar is more fitting for your relationship dynamic. It can be exciting to pick out a collar together at a pet store. Just try to keep that low key though, other customers in the pet store don’t want to witness you picking out a collar for obviously kinky reasons. You should probably measure your neck before you get there instead of trying them on in the store.

Choke Chain Collars and Shock Collars

On the more extreme end of dog collars, you also have choke chain collars and shock collars. Extreme caution should obviously be exercised with these types of collars. Either of these types of collars might be selected for harsher training involving choking or shocking as punishments. They may also be chosen because you are into certain types of play, breath play and/or masochism for the choke chain, and electricity play and/or masochism for the shock collar. It could just be that wearing these types of collars helps put you deeper into pet space and they may not even be used as much, or at all, to choke or shock.

Using a Belt as a Collar

Belts can also be wrapped around the neck and used as collars as well. They can be used for breath play in much the same way as a choke chain. The appeal of using a belt as a collar could also just be in the more spontaneous nature of using a belt in this way, and increased excitement that comes with that. Even if not used to choke the submissive, the fact that a belt could be used that way can add to the excitement.