What is Total Power Exchange?

Total power exchange (TPE) describes a relationship that has the highest possible level of power exchange. Total power exchange is when the dominant is free to dominate his submissive at any time and in any way he chooses without having to obtain consent first because he has already been given blanket consent for everything within the submissive’s limits. It’s a way of giving consent one-time for everything within limits and having that consent stand indefinitely until revoked.  

The dominant in a TPE relationship is known as a “Master”, and the submissive in a TPE relationship is known as a “slave”. Often times they will assume those title as well, but not necessarily. There is no reason why they can’t use the titles Dominant/submissive or use different titles altogether. Being a Master/slave and taking the titles of Master/slave are two different things. There’s nothing to stop a couple from using the titles of Master/slave even if they are not in a TPE relationship. That’s fine, but it should be recognized that use of those titles does not actually make them a Master/slave. In a DD/lg relationship, even one involving total power exchange, the couple would typically opt to keep their preferred titles of Daddy/babygirl.

Total Power Exchange Does Not Mean Total Control

Notice that it is not called a “total control” relationship. Many people conflate power exchange and control, but they are not the same thing. Power exchange relates to how much trust and what level of consensual non-consent is given by the submissive and accepted by the dominant. Controlling the submissive, always within her agreed upon limits, is one possible action the dominant can use that power for. An example of a dominant controlling the submissive’s behavior would be not allowing her to use the bathroom unless she has permission. This is something the dominant could do with the power he is given, as long as the submissive has agreed to it, but certainly is not something he has to do in order for TPE to exist in the first place. Giving the dominant total power (being totally submissive) is not the same thing as giving him complete control (being totally without limits).

BDSM “Slaves” vs Actual Slaves

A submissive’s level of control refers to her level of autonomy, not to the depth of her submission. Part of being autonomous is retaining control over setting your own limits and having the ability to renegotiate or revoke those limits at any time. BDSM relationships are consensual by definition and retaining this minimum level of autonomy is a necessary element of being capable of consenting, and a defining characteristic of being a “slave” in the context of a BDSM relationship.  To give up all autonomy, is to give up that control, at which point you are no longer practicing BDSM, and you would be an actual slave, which is the highest level of abuse, not the highest level of submission. Submission that is not consensual is not submission at all. Submission is a gift the submissive willingly gives to the dominant and has nothing to do with how controlling the dominant is or what limits a submissive may or may not have related to control.