It Isn’t a Bad Thing, It Isn’t Incest, It Isn’t Pedophilia

BDSM is often very misunderstood and stigmatized by society. There is a great deal of ignorance when it comes to Daddy Doms in particular and being a Daddy Dom is perhaps the most taboo topic related to BDSM because of that ignorance. To the uninformed, and to the close-minded, DD/lg relationships may seem to be rooted in incest and pedophilia. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, a Daddy Dom is a man in a BDSM relationship with a consenting adult woman. He is attracted to a grown woman, not to a child. He calls her his “babygirl” or his “little girl”, not his “daughter”. She calls him “Daddy”, not her “dad” or her “father”. He is interested in having sex with her, an adult woman, not with a child or with his daughter.

It Isn’t Abusive

A relationship with a Daddy Dom is not an abusive relationship. There is nothing abusive about being in a CG/l relationship, or about being in a D/s relationship, or about being in a BDSM relationship in general. In fact, if the relationship is abusive, I’d go as far as to say it isn’t a BDSM relationship at all. By definition, a BDSM relationship is safe, sane, and consensual. If those terms do not describe your relationship, you are not practicing BDSM! Abusive people will use anything as an in, including BDSM, and abuse is just as common within vanilla relationships as it is within kinky relationships. A true dom is not using BDSM as a way to abuse anybody, nor is any real man. Abuse is something that cowards do, not something good men do, and a cowardly dom is not really a dom at all. D/s couples have consensual and mutually fulfilling relationships. Daddy Doms in particular tend to be some of the most loving people you will ever meet.

It Isn’t a Sugar Daddy

A Daddy Dom is not a “sugar daddy”. A sugar daddy takes care of a woman financially in exchange for sex. Having a sugar daddy fulfils a woman’s financial need and is very transactional in nature. On the other hand, having a Daddy Dom fulfils her deep emotional needs and is rooted in love. A Daddy Dom will care for his babygirl in every way, including financially, and he will have the title of “Daddy”, but that’s where the similarities end. They are nowhere near the same thing.

It Isn’t Being with an Older Man

A Daddy Dom is not necessarily an older man. He may be older, may be of a similar age as his babygirl, or may even be younger. Being a Daddy Dom has nothing to do with how old a man is. Daddies do tend to be older than their littles, but that is not always the case, and that is not what makes him a Daddy.

It Isn’t Just a Title

It’s not just having the title of “Daddy” within the relationship. That, in and of itself, does not make anyone a Daddy or a Dom, let alone a Daddy Dom. Being called “Daddy” does not mean you are in a CG/l relationship or that you are in a D/s relationship. Being the caregiver in a CG/l relationship is what makes him a daddy. Being the Dominant in a D/s relationship is what makes him a dom. A Daddy Dom is not just a daddy, and he is not just a dom, he is both things simultaneously.

It Isn’t Just Something You Say During Sex

It’s not just liking to be called “Daddy” in bed either. That alone would mean that you have a daddy kink. A daddy kink is a sexual fetish, and one that may or may not be present in a CG/l relationship. A Daddy Dom may like to be called “Daddy” in the bedroom, but that is not what makes him a Daddy Dom. Being a Daddy Dom is defined by being the Daddy in a relationship with both CG/l and D/s dynamics, and not by whether or not the term “Daddy” is used during sex.

It Isn’t Role Play

Being a Daddy Dom is not a role that is played, it is an innate part of a person’s character. Similarly, being a little is not a matter of role play either, but rather a part of who a person actually is. That’s not to say that couples can’t engage in kinky roleplay where they use the titles “Daddy” and “babygirl” but pretending to be a daddy within a scene is much different than actually being a daddy in real life. Remember, being a Daddy Dom means that you have both a D/s dynamic and a CG/l dynamic, which is very different from having a D/s dynamic and a daddy kink. Having a CG/l dynamic has nothing to do with having a daddy kink, and everything to do with the caregiving aspect of the relationship. That caregiving is something that largely, or even exclusively, takes place outside of a sexual context. It’s something that takes place within the relationship in general, not strictly within a scene. Of course, a Daddy might also have a daddy kink, and this is not uncommon either, but it is the CG/l dynamic that makes him a daddy, not the fact that he likes to be called “Daddy” during sex.

It Isn’t a Persona

Being a daddy is not a persona, nor is being dominant a persona. Those things are parts of a Daddy Dom’s genuine personality. You can pretend to be anything during a scene. But it would be impossible to sustain pretending to be a caregiver or pretending to possess daddy-like qualities or a dominant personality which you don’t actually have on an ongoing day-to-day basis. Being a Daddy Dom isn’t something you can really fake. It’s not a mask you put on. If you’re not a daddy, sooner or later (probably sooner than later) the real you is going to come out and the relationship isn’t going to work. Littles require an authentic daddy, not just someone to call “Daddy”, or someone who can act like daddy sometimes. They may fall into the trap of settling for that, but they will never be truly happy with the arrangement, and a real daddy dom would pick up on that unhappiness and not be fulfilled either as a result. A daddy does not have to act the part, nor does he have to train to become daddy, nor does he have to be encouraged or persuaded to be one. He just is a daddy, he knows it to be true, and he owns it. This shows in the way he carries himself, in his loving and paternal nature, and in the dynamics of his other relationships, because he can’t help but to be who he is – none of us can – and he simply is daddy.

It Isn’t a Temporary Kind of Love

Being a daddy is not temporary. A daddy’s loves his babygirl in a similar way to how fathers love their daughters. Not in the exact same way, but his love does have a very paternal element to it, in a loving, caring way, not in a weird, creepy way. A good father cares for the physical, emotional, and financial well-being of his daughter. A good father loves seeing his daughter learn and develop. A good father is proud of his daughter’s achievements. When his daughter moves out and moves on with her life, a good father continues to love her, and to support her in any way he can. A good father wants what’s best for his daughter always, even to his own detriment. There is nothing a good father wouldn’t do without hesitation to keep his daughter safe and happy. These are the same paternal qualities you’ll find within daddy’s love for his babygirl. Just as a father is a father forever, so too is a daddy a daddy forever.